February 2012
61 posts
7 tags
Dropped math today
And the finished my homework for tomorrow before 12. :) But now that i’ve given my dogs a bath… oof. Damn MG.
I’ll be going on a regime of medications now. A high dose of prednisone, a pill to help me sleep, a pill to help me wake up, and pill to keep my stress level low so i don’t get any extra complications before surgery. AND once a month i have to go in for IVIG...
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I feel like writing a poetry book of all the poems...
Then do another one about recovery.
A twofer! lol
Just a thought….
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78 Days
I stare in the mirror. This figure before me. I trace down its chest, Smooth and soft, Free of any atrocity. The image in the mirror shifts. A dark red line bubbles to the surface, Distorting, Cracking, The tissue in its way. Already in pain, A deafening crack sounds. Its chest distorts and heaves, Splitting apart before Slamming back together. My hand touches the mirror, Watching the shape in...
theicebergh asked: and what exactly do you see there that i did?
I'm going to drop math.
That one has the most homework due per week, so i figured that would be a major load off of my shoulders. And now i’ll be done with school tue/thurs at 2:15 rather than 3:45. i already told my mom. She did that whole *raised eyebrows, smacking lips* thing. Clearly disappointed but at the same time agreed upon. Ah well. I’ll still be at 12 credits, so it’s not like i wont be a...
Is anyone else getting tired of those text...
What a good way to wake up...
My mom woke me up this morning simultaneously calling me a slob, throwing clean laundry on me, and then telling me to get up and put it all away. Apparently some time while i was asleep she snuck into my room and did my laundry. Now she’s complaining that she spent all day doing it since 7 a.m. and that I am never allowed to have a full bucket of laundry again. Or else. -_-
So now that my...
Spent the day as a noodle,
sitting on the floor of my room, fixing my former eyebrow into 2 much less manly looking ones. then i did my make up. Got up to do my hair. nearly fell over. now i’m back on tumblr. but prettier than before.
Seriously, what is it about having 2 eyebrows instead of 1 that makes you feel so different? I mean… what if no one every shaved or shaped their eyebrows before ever. would we...
ugh. i feel terrible today. Stupid MG. I slept close to 12 hours and i still feel absolutely exhausted and like i’ve just ran a marathon.
Isn’t this nice?
"her teeth freak me out. its like shes wearing a...
hahahaha oh youtube comments, how you make me giggle.
Has anyone ever been “friend dumped”?
So here’s the scoop. A mutual friend and i recently started talking more often than once in a blue moon. Then it went to texting and then he proceeded with that whole sexting. I made it clear that i wasn’t attracted to him in that manner and i didn’t want anything to escalate to that type of relationship. He was okay with it and...
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I don't know what to do.
I feel like picking classes this semester was a bad idea. I wish they would have diagnosed me in December. That way i would have known to skip this semester. I just can’t focus. Far too many things are going on. Between tests and assignments and doctors appointments and thinking about the surgery and trying medicines and trips to the hospital…. it’s just far too much…. My...
So let's set the world on fire. We can burn...
I GOT AN A ON MY PIANO QUIZ!
NO WAY! :D I’m a happy camper this morning :)
School Tomorrow
Looking forward to seeing what my creative writing teacher said about my poem. Hopefully he wasn’t like, “what is this shit?” Because then i would be sad :( And chemistry exam tomorrow! I don’t feel too nervous about it. More than half of it is multiple choice so i have some chance there. And he gives us partial credit for our written answers. I’m expecting a C. And...
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I keep seeing all these "i hate my body" posts....
… and I can’t help thinking how enraged by them I have become. Everyone has their reasons, every one has their problems, i am not bashing any one person, nor am i saying you should or shouldn’t harm yourselves. Everyone is free to think for themselves. This is but another one of my pointless rants. But how can you be so naive? How can you hate your body? Your body is perfect....
Spent sunday afternoon in the hospital.
I took my noodle syndrome meds and suddenly i didn’t feel so hot. I was shaky, my palms were slick with sweat, and my throat was tightening up. So of course my mom and i rushed to the hospital. I thought it was pretty funny because my mom ran up to the desk, shouted, “she’s having an allergic reaction to her meds!” and the triage nurse just looked at her, grabbed the clip...
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My Body Betrays Me.
My heart aches, My mind has run out of excuses. My body is limp. Why must my body betray me, When I find something I love?
Yes, I’ll be a doctor. I’ll fix the wounded, I’ll heal the sick, And help those who’ve Run out of options.
No you won’t. This anxiety will run your ragged. Your poor legs will tire of standing and your hands will forever be Unsteady.
...
This sucks.
Went to a baby shower today and proceeded to spill my soda everywhere… twice. Then drop my phone noisely onto my plate, then spill soda into someone’s “prize.” >.< Damn noodle syndrome. I don’t even feel that bad. My hands just refuse to work today. I’m almost afraid of going to piano. I haven’t practiced much at all since my hands decided not to...
Anonymous asked: tell your mama to be strong. :) and to have ice cream and junk food ready for you after surgery :P
Anonymous asked: its okay to be scared. its okay to be afraid. thats normal. no one wants to go through surgery. but it helps if the doctors talk to you before the surgery. ask every little question that pops into your head. knowing exactly what theyre gonna do while in surgery might help you become familiar with what will happen and hopefully youll realize that everything will be okay. everything will be just...
I keep thinking about needing surgery.
I’m nervous, of course. That’s only natural. But then i’m absolutely terrified. Not about anything going on, but about being alone in the hospital. My mom is going to fight to stay with me those 5 days, but everytime i think of going under….
I remember when i had my endoscopy done. It’s not a surgery, but your under anesthesia anyway. And i remember lying on the...
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Support the MG Walk for a World Without Myasthenia... →
Please help me raise money for Myasthenia Gravis research! Check out my group page (if your in the las vegas area, we are accepting new members!), or find one in your city! This would me the world to me! Thanks so much!
It's official.
The week of May 12 i will be undergoing surgery. I’ll be having my thymus removed via breaking my chest open and prying it out. >.< Won’t this be fun.
Libraryland: "so you want to be a writer?" by... →
libraryland:
if it doesn’t come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don’t do it. unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut, don’t do it. if you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen or hunched over your typewriter searching for words, don’t do…
headmasterzefron:
Anonymous asked: Hey. Hey you. You're pretty<3
Today is one of those days...
Still bummed out from last night… And then i fucked up my piano quiz >.< I practied and practiced and i knew that song by heart. i even played it with my eyes closed a few times. And then i go to play it for the teacher and… i mix up the notes, play the second half of the song too harsh (it’s supposed to be softer). ugh.
Now were learning “When the saints go marching...
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I Forgot How Much it Hurts
To be bullied.
Today i had dinner with my brother and his best friend. His best friend is one of those people that likes to talk. ALOT. They loop around in circles talking about one thing or the other, repeating themselves a few times. Yeah that’s him. During dinner, however, he got ahead of himself, saw my arms and went,
“Holy fuck you’re hairy! That’s beastly! Fuck your...
You know what i don't get?
Why people resort to alcohol or drugs or things of that liking to “escape” their problems. Now, God only knows what everyone is going through…. but i don’t have good days either. But i don’t drink or smoke or do any of those things. I don’t see it as a good thing in any shape or form. You think i wake up happy? I don’t. I wish i could sleep all day. Spend...
Bought my medical ID bracelet.
Why do they all have to be like 60 bucks? Well…. i guess i wouldn’t want a cheapo 10 buck bracelet that’s going to fall apart.
i’ll shut up now.
It's official.
I need to get a medical ID bracelet >.<
turns out people with Myasthenia Gravis are very intolerant to a butt-load of medications. Especially narcotics/anesthetics. So if im ever in an accident, or have an episode so bad that i pass out/stop breathing, i need to notify the paramedics of my condition so they know what to give me and what to keep away from me.
woo…
I feel like ID...
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Today was pretty okay. Woke up to the doorbell. My uncle came by to let us know that he’ll be going to Afghanistan for a year starting in late March. But tomorrow he gets stationed in Florida. He’s retired, so he chooses to leave and go to Iraq and Afghanistan. My family is not too happy with his decision.
Then my mom and i went to Barnes and Noble and got my nook re-partitioned....
Checkin' out the English Undergraduate Major...
And i’ve already got the math fulfilled.
I have lost all motivation to complete math 96.
But i don’t know if i’ll have a high enough GPA if i drop the class and still do well in all my others. (For millennium scholarship)
Creative writing is a pass/fail, so it’s not reflected in your GPA.
Chem - probably a C.
Eng 101F - B/A
Piano - B/A
So, 2, 4, 4. 10/4 = 2.5
HA! i...
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Not happy with these meds.
So the first day, i got a strange numbness in my throat. It made me want to gag, for some reason. I figured it was either one of those side effects that go away, or you just get used to. By the third dose, however, i figured out that it wasn’t a numbness in my throat, but a tightness. It became hard to swallow and to talk. My words were coming out in slurs and i found certain letters where...